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The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to People Twitter@sh.itjust.works · 1 day ago

The weasel timeline

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The weasel timeline

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to People Twitter@sh.itjust.works · 1 day ago
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  • ZeffSyde@lemmy.world
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    6 hours ago

    I heard it was a stoat.

  • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    11 hours ago

    Valve intro sting

    • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      10 hours ago

      I’m not sure why I felt the urge to make this after seeing the guy on the right’s hard hat… Yet here we are:

      I think he’s an alien tbh

      • NickwithaC@lemmy.world
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        7 hours ago

        Every construction worker is an alien when you don’t know how hard hats work.

      • P00ptart@lemmy.world
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        8 hours ago

        I can guarantee that the front of the netting isn’t in its slots, and is pushed up above his forehead, essentially nullifying 95% of the effectiveness.

        • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          7 hours ago

          Yeah I know, I just thought it was funny

      • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        10 hours ago

        Cleary he is a direct descendant of the extraterrestrial ruling class of human-alien hybrids that ruled over ancient Egypt, rofl.

        /s of course

        • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          7 hours ago

          Hidden in plane site smh my head

  • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    10 hours ago

    Wasn’t it when a bird dropped a baguette on it?

    https://www.theguardian.com/science/2009/nov/06/cern-big-bang-goes-phut

    https://time.com/archive/6933968/did-a-time-traveling-bird-sabotage-the-collider/

  • Alpha71@lemmy.world
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    14 hours ago

    except in the other timeline, the hadron collider opened a black hole and swallowed the earth whole.

    • Jimmycakes@lemmy.world
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      7 hours ago

      How do I transfer over to that one. Is there a form to fill out or a portal or something

    • PoPoP@lemm.ee
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      11 hours ago

      they got the better outcome regardless

    • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      10 hours ago

      Sounds lovely

    • console.log(bathing_in_bismuth)@sh.itjust.works
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      12 hours ago

      Correct, but they got sucked into an alternative reality and plan full assault on Judgement Day

      • Denjin@lemmings.world
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        11 hours ago

        Well they should bloody well hurry up then.

        • console.log(bathing_in_bismuth)@sh.itjust.works
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          7 hours ago

          You can’t rush the battle of Armageddon. Be patient.

  • spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
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    15 hours ago

    They’re waiting for you, Gordon. In the test chamberrrr.

  • Dagwood222@lemm.ee
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    1 day ago

    I like the theory that the Mayans were right and the world ended in 2012.

    A redwood can be dead and still stand for years…

    • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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      1 day ago

      2012 was the start of the end, and it wasn’t just an instantaneous catastrophe.

      • Dagwood222@lemm.ee
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        1 day ago

        I have to agree with Stephen King and say that the Kennedy assassination was the moment it snapped.

        Going heavy in Vietnam started the destruction of the US economy, and Nixon tripled down on it.

        • Gismonda@lemmy.world
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          12 hours ago

          The most unpleasant thing about that novel was that fixing things made it infinitely worse.

          • Dagwood222@lemm.ee
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            11 hours ago

            “The Big Time” by Fritz Leiber. The Change War is being fought on every planet in the universe from the moment of the Big Bang to the end of time. Two sides, the Spiders and the Snakes, are trying to rewrite history for their own purposes. The Law Of Conservation of Reality states that Time will oppose any change, so you have to fight the same battles over and over and over in order to get any changes.

            Fun book.

        • aeshna_cyanea@lemm.ee
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          5 hours ago

          didn’t know king wrote a book about that, so chatgpt gave me this interview where he quotes the relevant book passage. Whole thing is pretty interesting https://www.jfklibrary.org/events-and-awards/kennedy-library-forums/past-forums/transcripts/a-conversation-with-stephen-king

          • Gismonda@lemmy.world
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            6 hours ago

            I used to be a huge Stephen King junkie, read every novel within a few weeks of each release (started young by reading Salem’s Lot way too young). Then he started getting really repetitive in the mid-90s.

            So I was reluctant to bother with 11/22/63 but I picked it up because the premise was totally different for King. And I was blown away - I consider it his best, by far.

          • Dagwood222@lemm.ee
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            5 hours ago

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/11/22/63

            The name of the book is “11/22/63.” There was also a made for TV adaptation.

  • Etterra@discuss.online
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    1 day ago

    No, because all this shit can be traced back directly to Regan, and probably Nixon. Nixon cut the break line and Regan shoved it off the cliff.

    • slaneesh_is_right
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      13 hours ago

      Americans really do think they are the center of the universe

    • Wahots@pawb.social
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      17 hours ago

      McCarthy really fucked it all up for us in 1954 with the lavender and red scares. That helped set the stage for those later cunts.

    • anomnom@sh.itjust.works
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      22 hours ago

      The murder of Lincoln and not fixing the country after the civil war is probably the root especially for the southern strategy that Nixon would go on to use.

      The murder of both Kennedy brothers is the next point, because it opened the door for Nixon who got the economy ready to inflate and fuck over Carter, which got us Reagan and the rest of the “conservatives “ who are actually fascist racists greedy asswipes.

      • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.org
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        7 hours ago

        Thomas Paine was right. It goes back to the founding of the country (at least) and the refusal to form a truly egalitarian society, embracing human slavery instead. This made the US Civil War inevitable.

      • SL3wvmnas@discuss.tchncs.de
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        17 hours ago

        Well I guess absorbing enormous amounts of Nazi scientists, agents and soldiers into it’s service did not help much either.

        • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
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          14 hours ago

          Weirdly enough that was largely the most negligible effect, most of the ones that were absorbed were revanchists not ideological Nazis. While we can debate the morals of dead men they weren’t the worst of the worst, those were left in Germany or fled to South America and Apartheid Africa. Most of the ones absorbed just really wanted to fuck over the Soviets, which at the time was also the goal of NATO and Yugoslavia.

          • SL3wvmnas@discuss.tchncs.de
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            9 hours ago

            The ability of Nazis to cosplay as “normal” conservatives never ceases to amaze me. The utter lack of empathy. The pure joy in making “the others” suffer. Nothing seems to alert conservatives. Even when they position themselves as “just revanchists” they are believed. Breathtaking.

          • aeshna_cyanea@lemm.ee
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            10 hours ago

            Why would Yugoslavia actively want to duck over the soviets

            • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
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              7 hours ago

              Stalin kept trying to kill Tito, also a bunch of boring economic shit.

            • SL3wvmnas@discuss.tchncs.de
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              9 hours ago

              Rabbit hole alert: The Non-aligned Movement.

              • aeshna_cyanea@lemm.ee
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                8 hours ago

                i’m more or less aware, but as far as i knew their whole thing was noninterference in other countries’ affairs.

    • Dagwood222@lemm.ee
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      1 day ago

      Here’s something not many people consider.

      Before Reagan, popular media had tons of intellectual content. Superheroes would hang out with Edgar Allan Poe or Sitting Bull. Cartoons like Mr. Peabody taught kids the names of historical figures and Bugs Bunny played opera.

      Then Reagan deregulated kids TV and you got half hour long commercials for GI Joe and The Transformers.

      • Gismonda@lemmy.world
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        12 hours ago

        Holy shit, you are right….and I can remember that shift vividly.

        • Dagwood222@lemm.ee
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          11 hours ago

          I’m getting upvotes, so apparently we aren’t the only ones who figured it out.

    • Tweet@feddit.uk
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      21 hours ago

      I think we made a big mistake coming down from the trees in the first place.

      • Alpha71@lemmy.world
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        14 hours ago

        In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

      • aramova@infosec.pub
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        18 hours ago

        Even the trees had been a bad move, no-one should ever have left the oceans.

        • spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
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          15 hours ago

          enveloping our genetic material within lipid bilayer membranes was where it all went wrong imo

          • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today
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            12 hours ago

            Should never have developed genetic material in the first place…

            • spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
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              8 hours ago

      • spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
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        15 hours ago

        deleted by creator

    • Psythik@lemm.ee
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      1 day ago

      And then Trump stomped on the remains and took a shit on them.

  • egonallanon@lemm.ee
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    1 day ago

    Some say that to this day the weasel is still there being accelerated ever closer to the speed of light.

    • noodle (he/him)@lemm.ee
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      1 day ago

      that lucky bastard.

    • aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Shine on, you crazy diamond!

  • Mustard@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    It was a Field Marten, not a weasel. The Pompiers still share around the image of its incredibly crispy corpse that was retrieved from the service tunnels at CMS Point 5.

    Timeline thing is whatever, the collisions happening in LHC are less energetic than sunlight on a sq cm of grass, they’re just much better controlled and measured.

    • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldOP
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      I guess the NPR article screenshot comes from the other timeline where it was a weasel then.

      • Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works
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        1 day ago

        It’s part of the weasel family.

        • Mustard@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          1 day ago

          Technically no, both Weasles and Martens are part of the Mustelidae family, but they’re different. I remember one of the shifters being super indignant about it lol.

          • ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world
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            22 hours ago

            I am with you on your distinction, but if you were to choose a mascot for the Mustelids (something notable to represent the whole family) I’m guessing a weasel would be the candidate.

      • Mustard@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 day ago

        Free shrugs lol.

  • Rozaŭtuno@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 day ago

    Portal 3 plot leaked.

    • aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Weasel is a typo. It’s suppose to be Wheatley.

      Wheatley was accidentally accelerated past the speed of light and now exists outside of time in a godlike state.

      Still can’t make decent puzzle rooms for shit.

  • crawancon@lemm.ee
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    and just how many times has this …weasel thing happened?

    let me guess. it’s impossible to know.

    • AtariDump@lemmy.world
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    • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 day ago

      To quote Douglas Adams about a similar concept in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:

      "There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

      There is another theory mentioned, which states that this has already happened"

    • Know_not_Scotty_does@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      It could have already happened hundreds of times and we would never know it.

      • crawancon@lemm.ee
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        1 day ago

        omg Sadam’s aware of the loop. he’s laying that way in protest of reality!

        mindblown.exE

    • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldOP
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      The TenForward memes have escaped containment again.

      • AtariDump@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        • spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
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          15 hours ago

          I’ve seen like 4 iterations of this meme so far and I get excited every time I see a new one, like encountering a new Pokémon

          • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today
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            12 hours ago

            If you look close enough, all the memes are just different forms of Rotom.

  • Optional@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I’m aware of the theory that a stupid cop shooting a gorilla put us in this fucked up timeline.

    • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      10 hours ago

      Dicks out everyone, you know the drill…

    • slaneesh_is_right
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      13 hours ago

      People suddenly pretending to care for animals is funny as hell

  • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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    1 day ago

    The weasel just wanted to go to a timeline where his family is alive.

    It didn’t know it would create the Weaselpoint paradox.

  • miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 day ago

    Was it a lab leak, or live market?

  • Sophocles@infosec.pub
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    1 day ago

    Where’s Gordy when you need him?

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