There’s a lot of societal expectations for women, and often we totally understandably end up meeting them cos we feel we have to. They also sometimes just don’t happen for us. What’s one you’re glad you didn’t meet?
Not having children. It’s a relief. The thought of having to take care of a small extremely vulnerable being, and form it into a good member of society? Fuck that. Also it’s going to DIE someday and that would be my fault bringing it into an entropic universe.
No thanks.
I’ve been with my husband for a long time - it’ll be 25 years this September. We only got married 3 years ago, and it was because I needed to go on his health insurance so I could retire. We were both happy with not being married, and also both fine with tying the knot once we saw an actual reason to do it. We didn’t have a wedding, we just self-united (something you can do in Pennsylvania thanks to Quaker tradition) and filed the paperwork with the state. We don’t wear rings and I kept my name. Literally nothing changed other than my health insurance.
Until we got married, a lot of people seemed really unable to understand why I didn’t care about getting married. In the beginning there was a lot of external pressure/expectation on us to get married, which did die off after a while. I’m really glad that we did it on our own terms when it made sense to us, rather than caving to societal expectations.
Similar to me, we’ll have been together 10 years in October, married for 4. We married with one witness for each of us, which is the legal minimum here, primarily for the purposes of legal paperwork.
We do call each other “Mrs. Sharkweek” in an annoying cutesy way though, and we do wear wedding rings (stainless steel, 30€ each!)
It has worked really well for us.
Nice and simple, I love it!!
Marriage. Procreation.
That’s two.
I’m also childfree and 100% never married. For me, I’d rather be alone than in a marriage that isn’t right. Plus marriage is just about the legal benefits to me
All of them, basically
Haha I approve
Where I live, women are expected to take on all or most of the domestic duties and childcare despite also working full time. While I don’t mind doing these things, I am vehemently opposed to being defaulted to them just because I happened to be born without a penis. I don’t see a value in living with another person if I’m going to be doing everything by myself anyway.
I totally agree. The penis doesn’t prevent men’s ability to do chores, it just prevents the mindset that they should. Why cohabit if you’re just gonna be a live in maid?
For me it’s having kids. I never wanted them and people kept saying I’d change my mind, needed to meet the right person, my feelings would change if I had one etc. I always flat out refused and would point blank tell people this. I’ve never had kids, and I’m nearly menopausal and single so definitely won’t. And I’m 1000000% happy I don’t!
I love my freedom, children and parenting isn’t my cup of tea and I’ve really done what’s right for me.
So, I did go through a few years when I fancied the idea of having kids, but was never in a stable enough relationship for it to be fair on the kid … also, being gay would have had to adopt, and you have to be well off financially for that!
I’m glad I didn’t - so much would have had to be sacrificed, wouldn’t have been able to move to another country, etc etc, and TBH I don’t think I would have been a good parent because I would have resented them because of that.
100% you did what’s right for you.
Same here. I’ve ended relationships with people I otherwise adored over their inability to accept this choice.
Yes it’s a dealbreaker. Not something you can compromise on!
Same. I knew from a very young age that I didn’t want kids and that has never changed. I got my tubes tied in 2006 and never looked back!
Yep, I always say the best thing about being middle aged is nobody bugs me to have kids.
Yeah, the pressure vanished when I hit the big four-oh. (It had been slacking off for the decade before it.)
One thing that ticks me off to this day is I could not find a doctor willing to do a tubal ligation if I hadn’t already procreated and didn’t have a life-threatening condition that called for it.
The same medical establishment that will give men a whole lot less of a hassle if they want vasectomies without procreating first.
Yep!! Total double standards
