I was on a date once and when i opened my door, she stood there super excited and hugged me and said: omg, you’re real, just like the pictures. And i just stood there awkwardly, thinking: man i wish i could say the same to you. Because she mysteriously gained twice her sice over night.

What made it even worse is that we planned to go on a hike with my dog, and as you could guess, she wasn’t really equipped for long walks and started huffing while my house was still visible.