Lemmy.org
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • Create Community
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
no banana@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 6 天前

Avocado

lemmy.world

external-link
message-square
158
fedilink
446
external-link

Avocado

lemmy.world

no banana@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 6 天前
message-square
158
fedilink
alert-triangle
You must log in or register to comment.
  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    100
    ·
    edit-2
    5 天前

    Um excuse me?

    I eat avocado and clean penis all the time and have never found them to be anywhere remotely close to the same flavor.

    I’d eat more avocado if that was true.

    • ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      44
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      5 天前

      We’re trying to promote hygiene here

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        31
        ·
        5 天前

        Well they don’t taste like dirty penis either.

        • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          17
          ·
          5 天前

          not as chewy, either.

          • Kalcifer@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            7
            ·
            4 天前

            what a day to have eyes

        • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          4 天前

          This is gold. Thank you.

    • Etterra@discuss.online
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      23
      ·
      5 天前

      It’s probably just a joke to piss off conservatives. If correct, it works be a worthy cause.

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        13
        ·
        5 天前

        Is conservatives into avocado? I was led to believe woke millennials who suffer from bad financial decisions eat avocado toast.

        • Etterra@discuss.online
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          2 天前

          They need them for guacamole. Can’t have game night without snacks, after all.

      • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        4 天前

        Did you know light beer tastes like cum?

        • Etterra@discuss.online
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          2 天前

          It smells like piss so I don’t imagine you’re right.

        • Allemaniac@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          4 天前

          maybe it’s because american light beer is just really close to fucking water.

        • moving to lemme.zip. @lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          4 天前

          Can confirm. Cum tastes exactly like Michelob Ultra.

          • acockworkorange@mander.xyz
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            3 天前

            Ew. No wonder my wife wants nothing to do with it.

    • Lka1988@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      edit-2
      4 天前

      I eat avocado and clean penis all the time and have never found them to be anywhere remotely close to the same flavor.

      I showed this meme to my wife, she agrees with you

      • Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        4 天前

        Her boyfriend’s penis must be clean.

        • Lka1988@lemmy.dbzer0.com
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          4 天前

          Last I checked mine was cleaner, and I won the swordfight

    • Beero@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      edit-2
      4 天前

      Have you ever microwaved a brick of Brie for crackers…smells…pungent. Reminiscent of post-coitus, LoL, great for date night

  • inthearizonasun@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    68
    ·
    5 天前

    mmm cockamole

    • Dozzi92@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      23
      ·
      5 天前

      Goes great on your faceadilla.

      • inthearizonasun@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        5 天前

        With crema

    • ChillCapybara@discuss.tchncs.de
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      5 天前

      Well done. And welcome to Lemmy.

      • inthearizonasun@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        5 天前

        Thank you

    • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      4 天前

      You are an asset to the team. Welcome.

    • Phil_in_here@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      5 天前

      I think you should consult a dermatologist.

    • Etterra@discuss.online
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      9
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      5 天前

      I hate you, take my up vote.

  • moonlight6205@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    141
    ·
    6 天前

    Does this mean I have never tasted a clean penis?

    • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      206
      ·
      6 天前

      I wouldn’t know, I’ve never tasted an avocado

      • RedditAdminsSuckIt@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        97
        arrow-down
        3
        ·
        6 天前

  • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    21
    ·
    4 天前

    I’ve sampled enough to say confidently that this is false.

    • Bonskreeskreeskree@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      12
      ·
      4 天前

      Clean penises or avocado?

      • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        18
        ·
        4 天前

        Inclusive yes.

        • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          4 天前

          Fair enough. This one is debunked.

          Let’s move along people, nothing to see here.

  • db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    96
    ·
    5 天前

    I just asked my wife and she made the face. This is apparently, correct 😂😬😂

    • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      20
      ·
      5 天前

      Thank you for answering the big questions for us all.

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      12
      ·
      5 天前

      Don’t trust her.

      Only one way to know the truth.

      🍆

    • Delphia@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      5 天前

      I asked my wife if she wanted breakfast in bed… she did not like what was in her toast.

  • LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    71
    ·
    5 天前

    Some people here have never sucked a dick and it shows

    • flandish@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      42
      ·
      5 天前

      some of us were just too young to remember the taste. thankfully

      • General_Effort@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        15
        ·
        5 天前

        Oof.

      • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        5 天前

        Altar boy?

        • flandish@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          4 天前

          what? no. just my best friend’s older brother who happened to be a sexual predator.

      • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        4 天前

        I’m sorry to hear that. I hope it’s beautiful and sunny wherever you are and that you’re doing well.

    • last_philosopher@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      5 天前

      I’d imagine lemmy has among the lowest has-sucked-dick ratios of any potentially mixed-gender community.

      • Valmond@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        4 天前

        Why? We’re a bunch of old wannabe rebels (among other) eager to try out new stuff, surely sucking a dick was something easy to try out in our youth, and then lots of us are trans, gay, transbians and so on.

        • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          4 天前

          ☺️ 🏳️‍🌈👋 Happy pride!

      • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        4 天前

        Never been more disappointed in us. 😞

    • Carl@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      5 天前

      Your the expert, tell us.

      • Branch_Ranch@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        19
        ·
        5 天前
        • you + are = you’re
        • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          4 天前

          No.

          My the expert.

        • Carl@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          5 天前

          I guess you’re* the expert.

  • enbiousenvy@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    113
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    6 天前

    that looks like the ancient mouse that uses ball for cursor movement.

    • AtariDump@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      47
      ·
      5 天前

    • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      73
      ·
      6 天前

      Cursed ball mouse that tastes like clean penis

      • ch00f@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        15
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        6 天前

        cleanpenis.fart

    • Tailz (she/her)@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      5 天前

      That’s the first thing that came to mind when I saw this. Those mice were a pain. I had to take the ball out from the socket and get rid of dust and debris so many times so it would work normally

      • nomy@lemmy.zip
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        5 天前

        It was so disgusting digging all the gunk out with a toothpick, cotton swabs, and alcohol.

        Optical mice were such a huge improvement everyone I knew (except the weird trackball guy) switched as soon as they became available and never looked back.

        • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          5 天前

          The first optical mice absolutely sucked compared to trackballs.

          Fortunately, that period did not last long.

          • ddh@lemmy.sdf.org
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            edit-2
            5 小时前

            First optical mouse I used was interning at a university engineering department in 1993. It had a special metal mousepad with a grid on it, and it worked pretty well as I recall.

            TIL it was a Kirsch design, one of the first, from 1980.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optical_mouse#/media/File:Old_optical_mouse.jpeg

            • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              4 小时前

              Nice. I was referring to the consumer-level products that didn’t require a special pad, though.

    • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      5 天前

      They first tried using avocado pits, but those are a little too uneven, so they went with cooked egg yolks instead.

    • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      10
      ·
      6 天前

      It’s vintage, thank you

  • MNByChoice@midwest.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    58
    ·
    5 天前

    “Clean penis”? Only after washing with avocado scented body wash.

    • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      28
      ·
      5 天前

      The only way to properly clean a penis is with guacamole and some elbow grease.

      • bstix@feddit.dk
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        5 天前

        Also, WD-40 is not a lubricant.

        • FourWaveforms@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          5 天前

          wdym

          • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            7
            ·
            5 天前

            Strictly speaking, WD-40 is for water displacement. It is also not patented because they don’t want to give away the recipe.

            Though, I think the other guy might have meant “lubricant” in the context of sex.

  • ILikeTraaaains@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    35
    ·
    edit-2
    5 天前

    Tasted both, I don’t like avocado, dicks on the other hand….

    • MacStache@sopuli.xyz
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      17
      ·
      5 天前

      So… Avocado in one and a dick in the other…?

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      5 天前

      So avocado doesn’t taste like clean dingaling?

      Please answer Im about to get some guacamole and I’m insecure in my sexuality.

      • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        12
        ·
        5 天前

        Just say “no homo” and you’re good. Avoid the nut, because that’s super gay bro

        • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          edit-2
          4 天前

          Thank you so much. I shouted no homo as I added quac to my long veiny burrito, and two-handed it into my mouth. I think I’m okay now.

    • Deathray5@lemmynsfw.com
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      5 天前

      Few, I don’t like avocados and was worried

  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    4 天前

    AI says what?

    • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      4 天前

  • HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    4 天前

    Sounds like someone likes to jerk it with avocado oil and didn’t tell the researcher

    • Pnut@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      4 天前

      Does that imply that the researcher tasted his dick?

      • HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        4 天前

        Probably a research assistant

  • Dorkyd68@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    32
    ·
    5 天前

    Does a clean penis taste different than clean skin??

    • TrueStoryBob@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      94
      ·
      5 天前

      Skin on different parts of the body tastes different. It also depends on how it’s cooked.

      • Alaik@lemmy.zip
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        29
        ·
        5 天前

        God damn dude.

      • 0ops@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        23
        ·
        5 天前

        *closes legs

      • inthearizonasun@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        12
        ·
        5 天前

        damn

      • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        4 天前

        Fucking hell

      • Dorkyd68@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        5 天前

        I think I’d prefer reverse seared penis but idk

        • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          4 天前

          Like a pp corndog

      • Not_Dav3@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        4 天前

    • LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      20
      ·
      5 天前

      Why ask when you can find out?

      • Dorkyd68@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        5 天前

        I mean if your willing to donate your penis to me in the name of science then im game 😉😘

  • Valmond@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    4 天前

    The real question; how do you find avocados with small nuts (or seeds) like that?!!

    • kablammy@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      16
      ·
      4 天前

      Look for longer rather than fatter avocado. Fatter has more room for larger nut, but since the nut is round and not oblong, a slimmer longer avocado will have less space wasted on the nut.

      • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        19
        ·
        4 天前

        Oh god I’m close keep going

        • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          4 天前

          🌰 🥜 🔩

          • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            4
            ·
            4 天前

            Gonna eat some guac and wash it down with some pool water.

  • hefejefe@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    39
    ·
    6 天前

    How do I unsee an image

    • DUMBASS@leminal.space
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      68
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      6 天前

      • ummthatguy@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        33
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        6 天前

        The “Phineas Gage Special” is not 100% effective.

    • proti@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      30
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      6 天前

      this but in reverse
      brain no mor

      • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        23
        ·
        5 天前

        Goodness me that is unsettling

        • FippleStone@aussie.zone
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          15
          ·
          5 天前

          Anime ain’t right

      • Naughty_not_bad@lemmynsfw.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        5 天前

        What’s the name of the show? Looks familiar

        • proti@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          5 天前

          It’s Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade from Kizumonogatari, but you probably know her by the name Shinobu

          • Naughty_not_bad@lemmynsfw.com
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            4 天前

            Thank you!

    • FelixCress@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      6 天前

      Why do you want to unsee it, don’t you like avocados?

    • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      6 天前

      Some sort of eye surgery

      • neons@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        6 天前

        That doesn’t help, it’s already in memory.

        Obviously the answer is suicide.

        • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          13
          ·
          6 天前

          Some sort of existence surgery

  • hperrin@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    15
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    5 天前

    Are they flipping out because that’s ridiculous and false?

Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world

lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: [email protected]

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

…


2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

…


3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

…


4. No Porn/Explicit

Content


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

…


5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

…


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

…

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 4.32K users / day
  • 10.4K users / week
  • 16.9K users / month
  • 30.2K users / 6 months
  • 21 local subscribers
  • 32K subscribers
  • 5.37K Posts
  • 91.4K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • Striker@lemmy.world
  • Aer@lemmy.world
  • WiildFiire@lemmy.world
  • Decoy321@lemmy.world
  • Thekingoflorda@lemmy.world
  • YoBuckStopsHere@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website
  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world
  • BE: 0.19.8
  • Modlog
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org