I understand what you’re saying, however as a lesbian the last time I tried dating online I had lots, and I mean SHITLOADS, of nice chats with women who, after a week of working up to ready for a RL date, then dumped on me that they’re happily married and were looking for a side piece / unicorn / partner in cuckolding / you name it.
This was with a thorough profile that clearly stated that I was looking for a monogamous life partner who was a woman or somewhere on the fem to androgynous spectrum.
I also had lots of messages from men, even though my profile was set to receive messages from women only.
In 6 months of trying every day I’d managed one date that went badly. It was bad enough that I gave up on the idea and deleted my profile, and was on my own for a year … then I met my now-wife while doing a sociable hobby. She’s bi, and not weird about it.
Fuck online dating, and fuck any women who attach “bi” to their self descriptions who just want to treat lesbians like a sex toy. It’s their fault we have to put that in our profiles.
It’s the reason the message gets put on profiles, rightly or wrongly … sorry.
If you’re serious then message them authentically anyway (maybe mention that you’re single and serious about a real relationship), 95% won’t care that you’re bi and the remaining gold star lesbians are insufferable anyway ;-)
Just to be real, if a profile says no bi girls, anyone who is coming into things authentically is just going to respect that (or not want a partner who is okay with biphobic sentiments like that) and simply not message. Anyone you’re trying to exclude is not reading that far.
No mate it’s not that, it’s just that I do a lot of voluntary work in the community and I’ve seen the impact on bi people. Plus my own beliefs are we all have to stand together as a community. I’ve had truly awful experiences with 2 bi partners though so I do get it. Including the classic bi stereotype of cheating on me with a man…
Duly noted … and yes, the community should stick together. But. When it comes to personal choices of who to engage with with a view to forming an intimate bond, then people have to be able to set their own parameters.
As someone who is bi (well, 2 on Kinsey if you go aulde skoole; the kiddies would probably use pan), please let me apologize for the faux-bis treating you like you’re just a playing piece in a game. That kind of behaviour is utterly repulsive and those who engage in it deserve to be shamed publicly for it.
I understand what you’re saying, however as a lesbian the last time I tried dating online I had lots, and I mean SHITLOADS, of nice chats with women who, after a week of working up to ready for a RL date, then dumped on me that they’re happily married and were looking for a side piece / unicorn / partner in cuckolding / you name it.
This was with a thorough profile that clearly stated that I was looking for a monogamous life partner who was a woman or somewhere on the fem to androgynous spectrum.
I also had lots of messages from men, even though my profile was set to receive messages from women only.
In 6 months of trying every day I’d managed one date that went badly. It was bad enough that I gave up on the idea and deleted my profile, and was on my own for a year … then I met my now-wife while doing a sociable hobby. She’s bi, and not weird about it.
Fuck online dating, and fuck any women who attach “bi” to their self descriptions who just want to treat lesbians like a sex toy. It’s their fault we have to put that in our profiles.
Christ, i wonder how many of those women were actually bi and how many were just brainwashed unicorn hunters
Lord those are particularly bad experiences I’m sorry you went through that. I see it differently but I understand your point of view
It’s the reason the message gets put on profiles, rightly or wrongly … sorry.
If you’re serious then message them authentically anyway (maybe mention that you’re single and serious about a real relationship), 95% won’t care that you’re bi and the remaining gold star lesbians are insufferable anyway ;-)
Just to be real, if a profile says no bi girls, anyone who is coming into things authentically is just going to respect that (or not want a partner who is okay with biphobic sentiments like that) and simply not message. Anyone you’re trying to exclude is not reading that far.
No mate it’s not that, it’s just that I do a lot of voluntary work in the community and I’ve seen the impact on bi people. Plus my own beliefs are we all have to stand together as a community. I’ve had truly awful experiences with 2 bi partners though so I do get it. Including the classic bi stereotype of cheating on me with a man…
Duly noted … and yes, the community should stick together. But. When it comes to personal choices of who to engage with with a view to forming an intimate bond, then people have to be able to set their own parameters.
I understand your perspective 😊
As someone who is bi (well, 2 on Kinsey if you go aulde skoole; the kiddies would probably use pan), please let me apologize for the faux-bis treating you like you’re just a playing piece in a game. That kind of behaviour is utterly repulsive and those who engage in it deserve to be shamed publicly for it.
You don’t have to apologise for the behaviour of others, I just wanted to provide context for why it happens!