Online dating is normality now. What are some red flags you should avoid?

    • First you have to understand the INCREDIBLE pressure young people, men and women alike, are under to procreate in China. This dates back thousands of years and shows no signs of slackening. There is tremendous pressure from family, from friends, and from society in general to be married and with child by the age of 25. ABSOLUTE TOPS.

      Note: this pressure is applied if you’re gay or lesbian. Everybody in a queer relationship knows that they’re doomed. That they’ll be forced, in the end, to be in a loveless marriage with someone they don’t have any attraction with so they can together raise a child.

      Am I painting a bleak enough picture? Lesbians in particular are the ones who get hit hardest because they bear the costs of child-bearing and the ones who get saddled with raising children alone when, inevitably, the husband divorces her (c.f. the loveless marriage bit).

      Now there are mitigating strategies that the queer communities use. There’s the “co-bearding” approach where gay couple Aaron and Barry arrange to marry lesbian couple Caitlin and Dinah. So officially and publicly Aaron and Caitlin are married as are Barry and Dinah, but in reality the actual couples are Aaron/Barry and Caitlin/Dinah. It works, but is pretty complicated and not really available to everybody despite the best efforts of the queer community.

      But bisexuals are a monkey wrench in all that. They don’t have that unhappy end that most queer romances end up in. So let’s say I get into a relationship with a woman here, I’m fine, she’s fine. We’re in love. We’re enjoying each other’s company. But we both know that this is non-permanent. There’s a huge difference though: I pass as het. When (not if) the pressure forces me to seek a husband and procreate, I can do that and have a loving marriage with a man who turns my crank just like my current lover does. She doesn’t have that happy outcome.

      And that generates INTENSE resentment.