This is nothing but a counterpoint anecdote to the article (not a counterpoint to your comment).
My wife and I also mutually prefer a more traditional family dynamic for ourselves but have no belief that it’s the best way or right for anyone else. We needed a tiebreaker system and for better or worse we also chose that I am the ultimate authority when we disagree.
It doesn’t come up often, but when it does, more often than not, I’ll choose her side over my own because if everything goes to shit she doesn’t tell me I told you so because I did what she wanted, and I don’t get to say it either because the final choice was mine and if I didn’t put my foot down for my beliefs that’s my own fucking fault.
I wish someone had laid that out for me in the beginning because I feel like I got a raw fucking deal. She gets to whine and pout and stomp her feet while I’m forced to be logical and judicious. Sometimes I want to just damn logic and demand a certain outcome just because I really want it.
Not really a point here other than, if you genuinely care for your partner, having the final say isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. And if someone thinks being in charge means they always get their way… I lose all respect for them.
You came to realize that marriage is a partnership. Your spouse is your partner, not your mother/father, not your caregiver (unless necessary via illness.)
That’s not really how I would characterize it. This is a second marriage for us both so we knew that going in. But take out the condescension and of course you’re spot on. Point being that still can/ought to hold true even in traditional/patriarchal family dynamics. So these tradwife folks that advocate subservience aren’t even doing their own dynamic right if they make a point of removing the partnership.
This is nothing but a counterpoint anecdote to the article (not a counterpoint to your comment).
My wife and I also mutually prefer a more traditional family dynamic for ourselves but have no belief that it’s the best way or right for anyone else. We needed a tiebreaker system and for better or worse we also chose that I am the ultimate authority when we disagree.
It doesn’t come up often, but when it does, more often than not, I’ll choose her side over my own because if everything goes to shit she doesn’t tell me I told you so because I did what she wanted, and I don’t get to say it either because the final choice was mine and if I didn’t put my foot down for my beliefs that’s my own fucking fault.
I wish someone had laid that out for me in the beginning because I feel like I got a raw fucking deal. She gets to whine and pout and stomp her feet while I’m forced to be logical and judicious. Sometimes I want to just damn logic and demand a certain outcome just because I really want it.
Not really a point here other than, if you genuinely care for your partner, having the final say isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. And if someone thinks being in charge means they always get their way… I lose all respect for them.
You came to realize that marriage is a partnership. Your spouse is your partner, not your mother/father, not your caregiver (unless necessary via illness.)
Good for you.
That’s not really how I would characterize it. This is a second marriage for us both so we knew that going in. But take out the condescension and of course you’re spot on. Point being that still can/ought to hold true even in traditional/patriarchal family dynamics. So these tradwife folks that advocate subservience aren’t even doing their own dynamic right if they make a point of removing the partnership.
Yeah, I take everything back.
You’re an asshole. When she leaves you, you deserve it.