Where the fuck is Saddam Hussein?
Yeah, but where’s Sadam Hussein?
TIL Jesus was only 4 and a half feet tall, and also red for some reason.
Crown of thorns…
Those must’ve been some really long thorns if he need to be made that much shorter for his crown to fit within the allotted 6’.
The crown is responsible for the red coloring of sweet lord Jesus’ skin.
As for the height
People were a lot shorter back then
TIL that Jesus was 4ft tall.
People were a lot shorter back then
And darker skinned
Maybe they just forgot which cave they left him in, couldn’t find the right one later and then decided to commit to the resurrection thing rather than admitting that they lost him.
Is that what they mean when they say “have you found jeebus?”
I always say “how did you cunts lose him in the first place, he was nailed to a fucking plus-sign?”
My Brother in Chrysler, that’s a lowercase t
I’ve had good results upsetting the religious with anything vaguely scientific or mathematical
He was behind the couch this whole time.
was jesus’s first name Kilmar?
Happy zombie Jesus day!
He seems pretty short for a messiah
The short king of kings
People thought that Dalton would be taller too…
Dude goes on a 3 day bender 2000 years ago so now I gotta hide chocolate eggs in my backyard and pretend a mutant diabetes inducing rabbit put them there.
you could just buy nose candy instead
remember Jesus was pro prostitute
Kids: Dad, there’s no Easter eggs outside.
Me coked out of my mind: *Sniffing erratically* REALLY THATS CRAZY DID YOU KNOW IN 1951 THE CIA LACED THE DRINKING WATER OF THE FRENCH TOWN OF POINT SAINT-ESPRIT WITH PSYCHEDELICS WHICH MADE THE RESIDENTS HALLUCINATE SHIT AND THEN BLAMED IT ON MOLDY BREAD!
…Dad?
Fuck, they found me! Better go back out for some milk.
Rabbit and chocolate are not even remotely biblical either. Church adopted that shit to appease pagan converts ages ago.
In the original draft, Jesus was supposed to be an anthropomorphic chocolate throwing rabbit, but the writer was forced to change him to be human for marketing reasons.
Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.
Ramen
Jesus was tiny.
Hu inssain
