We finally have an answer: The beginning and the end of the sliding motion that produces static electricity experience different forces – resulting in a charge differential between the front and the back that results in the crackle of static electricity.
Fun hiccup fact: the default human state is hiccups, and there’s a small part of the brain that normally suppresses them. There have been rare cases where it’a damaged and someone just… never stops hiccupping. A fate worse than death imo.
If there was ever an argument against intelligent design, it’s shit like this.
See also the giraffe nerve that takes a 15 foot detour because it didn’t evolve to go on the other side of their hearts. It’s theorized to have travelled even further in dinosaurs:
(Source)