We finally have an answer: The beginning and the end of the sliding motion that produces static electricity experience different forces – resulting in a charge differential between the front and the back that results in the crackle of static electricity.
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If there was ever an argument against intelligent design, it’s shit like this.
See also the giraffe nerve that takes a 15 foot detour because it didn’t evolve to go on the other side of their hearts. It’s theorized to have travelled even further in dinosaurs:
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