I’m going to shit your pants.

It may be worth looking into ADHD. It kinda sounds like you’re describing executive dysfunction. In addition, a symptom of ADHD is not being motivated to work towards long term goals. Worth conferring with your doctor at the very least.

5 Seconds Later would be funnier imo

He’s probably miserable because he’s about to die in a horrific manufacturing accident

Omg he killed the camera man