It looks like a baby who just pooped it’s diaper. I’m inclined to think it is a real photo.

Me three, but with, uh … Porn

If I was a drug addicted Nazi worth half a trillion dollars, I wouldn’t bother with having someone try to source drugs for me. I would just hire a chemist to make them for me tailor made to my liking.

Phone the Guinness Book of Records and ask if anyone has recently shown interest in making the world’s biggest omelette

I get the impression that if you chopped off his head, he would just grow 2 back. Then we would have twice as much bullshit excreting from his blowhole

1, maybe 2 bananas

They sort of do, just under a different name: Government Bonds