What would he be if not fascist? The great slumbering old one who will teach us new ways to sin that leads to our destruction? The one who plans to repopulate the word with his children?

What is death to that which can forever lie. Thru countless strange eons death itself may faulter

“who do I want pointing a gun at my head today?”

Ehhhhh. I get why. But no.

My grandfather never once spoke about the war. His joke in the nursing home was funny . That joke was still different than this joke.

He didn’t say he’d enjoy it, he didn’t say he was okay with it. He said he can do and he’s done it before.

I wasn’t in WW2 obviously. I will.comoare it to growing up on a farm. I had to kill starving stray dogs people dropped off in the country side.

I can do it. I can kill a dog. I have killed plenty of dogs. I don’t enjoy killing dogs, I’m okay with killing dogs. I can do it.

My grandfather could kill people. Those people I assume were mostly Nazis during the war. He never mentioned random roadside murders. He could kill Nazis. He had killed Nazis before. He didn’t say he was okay with killing Nazis. You shouldn’t be okay taking a life even if it had to be done.

I was doing the starving dogs a favor… I was never okay with it tho. It should never be fun to take a life, even if you have to. It should never be okay.

We had to pull my grandfather from the nursing home (God rest him. Left is at 104)

We had to pull him because he kept telling the younger residents “I killed the Nazis once I can kill you again”

Hell of a man. Side note he’s also part of the reason rabies isn’t a big thing in America. He was a chemist for the board of health. Helped to deploy a vaccine that could be put into bait for wild animals to eat.

Another side not: my dad was a trump supporter, my grandad was too old to go vote. My dad used his vote to vote democrat on his behalf . Purely out of respect for my mother’s dad.

Hell of a man.

I appreciate your kind words.

And you pretty much nailed it on both fronts.

I listened to some shrink talking on the radio probably over a decade ago. She mentioned that it wasn’t abnormal for her patients to say they don’t know what they enjoy.

I matured late and had kids young. My kids are adults now.

I don’t have hobbies or interests. I’ve been busy working .

My boss pissed me off the other day. I could find an easier job. Maybe take a pay cut.

What else would I do though?

I don’t have hobbies, I don’t really want one. I don’t have friends, and I never really wanted them. I do have family and people who love me don’t worry.

I don’t have friends, hangout spots, hobbies, TV shows I binged. I don’t even know what I like. So I guess I work? I should probably find something. Not mineral collecting but maybe trains?

This kind of thing always seems so unfair to me. They were writing a book and meeting new friends. Meanwhile I’m so damn tired and ready to rest. I’d give you’re friend 10 or twenty years off my own life if it were an option.

I wouldn’t hurt myself, I’m just saying another 30 or forty years seems so daunting…there’s people who want those years and that’s unfair.