Let me cook you something AMAZING!

First I need some curry…uh…okay, do you have salt? WHAT?

Alright, where is the oven? Time to prepare you some amazing lasagna! Where do you keep your noodles? No noodles? I guess I can hack it with potatoes.

…PO-TA-TOES! YOU…WHAT???

Okay nevermind, let me show you why you need to stop spending all your money on survival in warfare and instead fund my school! I can teach you to…uh…tell you about things we have in the future. No, I don’t know how to create any of that. But trust me bro, just give me money. No need to tie me to your trebuchet like that, I’m sure I can remember how to build an airplane somehowAHHHHHHHHHH

You tried.

Edit: But don’t worry, your myriads of novel diseases in your body will pretty much wipe out the continent you spawned on. Revenge!