Legitimately empathized and said I was sorry to hear about your experience, and you seemed to interpret it as me attempting to provide validation, so not sure how you think that corresponds with an unwillingness to empathize. I’m not talking to you any differently than I would talk to anyone else. If you don’t like the way I talk in general you don’t have to engage.
I’m not playing dumb. You just didn’t make a point and I was trying to ask if you meant to make one as kindly as I could. It seems like you’re attempting to now, so I’ll address that.
I never said men shouldn’t feel bad. Please point out when you believe I said that.
men should be allies. If you just said that men are becoming incels then I’m not sure why you think they are employing the allyship strategy. They’re clearly not. I also never suggested that allyship will solve the worlds problems or that women SHOULD treat men X way. I said that if men want to know how to make it less likely women are concerned for their safety when they show up, they should engage in allyship. That’s true, but not enough men are engaging in allyship. If more men did it there’d be a larger societal shift. More women interacting with more men who are allies and seeing them through that lens.
My message has never been about blaming anyone. I’ve never addressed how women should feel. Some women feel and act a specific way. That’s the framework the discussion is taking place in. If men want suggestions as to how to make women feel safer, I have some. They do not have to listen to them. They can ignore me and the other women telling them what would help women feel safe. Not sure if you know how allyship works, but a big part of it is constructive dialogue, and right now there are women saying what would help and you seem to be more interested in arguing with them than anything else. Likely allies are not alienated by this behavior and have empathy and understanding for the position women find themselves in. They… actually extend allyship.
If me suggesting allyship towards women is eliciting this kind of response I have a legitimate concern about your actual interest in being an ally. Seems like a weird thing to be against. Writing up a whole comment to argue against… being nice to people?
Legitimately empathized and said I was sorry to hear about your experience, and you seemed to interpret it as me attempting to provide validation, so not sure how you think that corresponds with an unwillingness to empathize. I’m not talking to you any differently than I would talk to anyone else. If you don’t like the way I talk in general you don’t have to engage.
I’m not playing dumb. You just didn’t make a point and I was trying to ask if you meant to make one as kindly as I could. It seems like you’re attempting to now, so I’ll address that.
I never said men shouldn’t feel bad. Please point out when you believe I said that.
men should be allies. If you just said that men are becoming incels then I’m not sure why you think they are employing the allyship strategy. They’re clearly not. I also never suggested that allyship will solve the worlds problems or that women SHOULD treat men X way. I said that if men want to know how to make it less likely women are concerned for their safety when they show up, they should engage in allyship. That’s true, but not enough men are engaging in allyship. If more men did it there’d be a larger societal shift. More women interacting with more men who are allies and seeing them through that lens.
My message has never been about blaming anyone. I’ve never addressed how women should feel. Some women feel and act a specific way. That’s the framework the discussion is taking place in. If men want suggestions as to how to make women feel safer, I have some. They do not have to listen to them. They can ignore me and the other women telling them what would help women feel safe. Not sure if you know how allyship works, but a big part of it is constructive dialogue, and right now there are women saying what would help and you seem to be more interested in arguing with them than anything else. Likely allies are not alienated by this behavior and have empathy and understanding for the position women find themselves in. They… actually extend allyship.
If me suggesting allyship towards women is eliciting this kind of response I have a legitimate concern about your actual interest in being an ally. Seems like a weird thing to be against. Writing up a whole comment to argue against… being nice to people?