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Minecraft = Old and Busted.
Vintage Story = New Hotness
Children get upset about all kinds of things, and it’s important to help them understand and resolve their emotions, no matter how silly it is.
Eighty cows is a minor inconvenience at worst and like four stacks of steak at best.
So I feel like the confusion here isn’t just coming from how to handle the griefer child or how to get the cows out of the house. I think it’s more to do with the novelty of the situation.
Why is the child upset by this? Does he not like to kill cows in the game? Is there something preventing him from luring the cows out of the house? Was he just unpleasantly surprised by it and hadn’t thought through whether or not it was a big deal? There’s a lot of layers to this.
Or maybe this guy just never played Minecraft.
When I was a kid, I would always get in trouble for getting upset. No one ever wanted to know why I was upset. They just wanted me to shut the fuck up and I often had a hard time doing so. I really wish things would have been handled the way you describe. My siblings didn’t have the same problems as me in this way so it has always made me feel alone in feeling what I feel. Now as an adult, I never know if what I’m feeling is real and valid… usually I think it isn’t.
Anyway sorry that was only tangentially related.
I don’t think it’s tangentially related? You have effectively contrasted the Right Thing To Do comment with your experience of the Wrong Thing To Do as well as its terrible, lifelong impact.
I too had that flavor of (let’s say unkind) upbringing and now I devote every waking moment to tearing that garbage out of me and installing something more like what u/moakley described
Thanks for helping to validate my comment haha. I do appreciate it.
Is there anything specific you’ve done and would recommend to help swing in the other direction like you’ve stated?
Was curious as to what you might have found helpful. I had tried the beginnings of CBT in the past, but it just makes me feel bad and frustrated. I have always been taught that my thoughts and feelings are wrong, and that’s effectively the core of CBT. I don’t like it because it just propagates how everything I think and feel is invalid. Yet it’s the “trendy” thing to do nowadays so every therapist and their mother uses it as their modality.
Interestingly though I don’t think that this issue necessarily stems from deliberately toxic parents. My mom did the best she could and is very loving and nurturing but I was just too much for her to know how to deal with in this way.
CBT is not supposed to teach that your thoughts or feelings are ‘wrong’ just that they can be harmful or unhelpful, and give you strategies to move past them when thats the case. Thats what emotional regulation is, and what ideal parents would teach chldren. Its perfectly valid to have a negative emotion, but not all responses to it are appropriate, and there’s no point in getting stuck on a negative emotion jist because it’s ‘valid’ especially if that can be harmful to yourself or others. Its fine to feel sad or angry, but its not healthy to want to stay that way. Youre suplosed to recognize why you’re sad and angry, take steps to fix it if you can, and move past it.
Not really a tangent. This stuff is important.
I think every generation just tries to do better than the previous one. I don’t know if I really got in trouble for my “big feelings” growing up, but I was often made to feel like my emotions were silly or too strong for a given situation. It got to the point where when something genuinely bad happens I almost revel in it, like I crave authenticity so much that I look forward to “legitimate” pain.
So I try to keep that in mind. When one of my kids cries about something silly, we have a discussion about whether it’s a big thing or a little thing. Sometimes I’m strategically dismissive, because they need to have a little thick skin, but if that doesn’t work then we go into feeling sharing mode.
Then we make a distinction between what we’re feeling (which is always legitimate, no matter what), and what we do about it. They can still get in trouble for bad behavior, but then we try to give them the language to express their emotions in a healthy way.
And if it’s just a genuine emotional breakdown, whatever the cause, I remember back to when I did that as a kid and was met with a cold response, and I stop what I’m doing and hold them until they feel better.
Maybe the child is upset because they’re overwhelmed and don’t know what to do! So many cows! Every time I try to think it’s “moo”! It’s a good moment for learning.
Exactly!
Although now this got me thinking, as a man in my forties who shares a Minecraft Realm with his childhood best friend, how I could go about getting 80+ cows into my friend’s base. We’re working on stuff a few maps away, so I’ve got time before he goes back there, but it’s a long trip and he’d notice I’m gone. I might have to hollow out a space and breed the cows over time.
Depends, if the kiddo did it in survival mode you should probably congratulate him. If it was in creative then you have yourself a griefer. Griefers should be shot into the sun. I am sorry for your loss.
Not that hard in survival tbh. Just need to get two cows inside and keep feeding them wheat. Babies grow up in a few minutes, and growth becomes exponential.
Friend did this to me but with chickens, which is worse because they lay eggs.
Free food though, it really isn’t a problem as long as you can make a stone sword which is easy
Make it a learning opportunity; teach them come up with a solution. Kill the excess, or make a pen and leaf them into it, that kind of thing.
Honestly, just use their accounts to start playing in a sincere effort to fix the problem manually. They’ll quickly learn that nothing they can do to each other is worse than your mediation. I call that “The Solomon Approach.”
Upvote because parents playing on a minecraft home server with their kids is a huge win for everyone involved.
Yeah see, then you get me as a parent My boys were battling it out, in game and in real. I make them get off the game but stay logged on, used the axe to dig till I was at the bottom and dulled the axe. Did this for both, then made them listen while those zombie things came and killed them.
This only had to happen once. They never fought again.
I was waiting for someone to turn this wholesome. Begrudging upvote…mumble
+1 on that, I started with my kids on a free cloud server, and now have a local instance running in a container on my NAS for us to use
So… we need to cut all the cows in half?
That’s a good question. Is there butchering in Minecraft?
More or less. When you kill cows you get meat and sometimes milk.
And if you kill them with fire the steak is already cooked.
Huh. I wonder if that works in real life. BRB.
I think the hard part is getting it cooked through without charring the outside.
[Staggers back covered in a mixture of charred flesh and lukewarm viscera]
“It does not work.”
You dont get milk if you kill them… only if you smack them with an empty bucket, and you only need one for infinite amount of milk.
Hmm, did they patch that out? I haven’t played much but I distinctly remember being surprised by this.
Its been like that forever. I’ve never known any other way to obtain milk buckets. Nor does the Change logs make any references to alternative ways. Perhaps you played on a server with plugins that added milk bucket as a drop.
I mean it is good that he doesn’t want to just indiscriminately wipe out the population of housed cows
It could be worse, #1: when my nephew was 4, I built him a house in Minecraft creative mode. And then I hid a lot of TNT below the house; they’d be triggered by the pressure plate near the door. (inb4 it’s common to put a pressure plate near doors in Minecraft, so they open automatically.) He entered the house, and “tttssssssBBOOOOOMMM!”. He started crying. My sister (his mum) was nearby, and begun laughing, then the kid got to cry harder. I wanted to surprise the kid, not to scare him! (Thankfully I kept a copy of the world before rigging the house with TNT. As I loaded the copy he calmed down.)
It could be worse, #2: when I was 16, one of my cousins was 8. I was into a game we mocked as “Paint Online” (Tibia, a MMO). He was learning the ropes of the game, barely out of the beginners’ island. Some random afternoon, he phones me, crying: “[my nickname]!!! HELP MEEEEE!!! I lost my worms, I lost my fishing rod, I lost EVERYTHING!!!”. He died in the game, lost his items, and he was literally crying! I had to stop everything I was doing, log into the game, get a fishing rod + a full stack of worms from my depot, some random food, and give to the kid. Otherwise he would not leave me bloody alone.
Tibia mentioned. I could never get over the lack of attack animations Iol.
I never got out of the starting town, I played back when everyone had to camp the sewers for whenever a rat spawned, then wait in line before you could finally sell the 3x rat skin you managed to scrounge, only to then deal with an asshole who knew a command that could punt you one tile away, who’d corner you and ask for gold. That last thing only happened once and was when I decided that I wasn’t going to endure any more of that game’s shit.
I think attacks are the only thing seriously animated there. And by “seriously” I mean five frames or so. It was fun, though, at least back then. (The game still exists, but I can’t find it fun any more.)
Perhaps we played in different eras. When i tried it there were no attack animations at all. You and the enemies just stood in front of eachother taking damage…
By “attack animation” I mean that you’d cast, say,
exori flam, and the game would draw a fireball over the enemy.
No different than if one child messes up the Lego build that another built. This is nothing new, only digital. Typical sibling annoyance.
Struggling to parent this issue is just showing signs of being a shitty parent.
You tell them to knock it off and teach one child to have empathy and care for others by thinking of how they’d feel if someone messed up something they built.
Sometimes you could also just chalk it up to kids being kids, so long as it isn’t constant.
But to be honest, at these ages, the 5 year old probably doesn’t fully understand. Just need to put some limits and maybe have them stay in their own sandbox in the game for now.
I was only allowed on the computer occasionally until I was 10 (a few hours per week) and I only got access to the internet when I was 12.
I consider that good parenting.
Two years to master Solitaire. Nice.
I played JezzBall and Age of Empires.
Yup. That’s good parenting. It’s crazy how young parents allow their kids to be on the internet. I do believe Minecraft is a good early game for a child though.
Yeah a few hours of computer or console time isn’t too bad. As long as it’s limited.
Excessive screen media usage in children can have both positive and negative impacts on their development. Regarding cognitive development, screens have the potential to enhance education and learning. However, studies have shown that excessive screen time and media multitasking can negatively affect executive functioning, sensorimotor development, and academic outcomes. Early screen exposure has been associated with lower cognitive abilities and academic performance in later years.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10353947/#sec3
We’re seeing the latter almost exclusively.
Bah.
I know a lot of kids end up messed up and addicted to screens or whatever but my parents let me use computers and the internet as much as I wanted and I’m sort of glad they did. My dad only (attempted) to refuse any access to my Xbox one summer after I got some D’s. I pretended to not use it but I was still waking up like 5-6 hours before him so I’d get my fix every morning anyway.
That said, I stumbled into seeing DBZ hentai when I was like 8-9 on the internet. I did not let my parents find out precisely bc I was worried about them taking away the computer from me. I don’t think that meaningfully negatively impacted me either but obviously its hard to know.
a lot of kids end up messed up and addicted to screens
waking up like 5-6 hours before him so I’d get my fix every morning anyway
My point exactly.
after I got some D’s
What’s a D in internationally understood scoring? Like 40%?
That said, I stumbled into seeing DBZ hentai when I was like 8-9 on the internet. I did not let my parents find out precisely bc I was worried about them taking away the computer from me. I don’t think that meaningfully negatively impacted me either but obviously its hard to know.
What the fuck.
My point exactly.
I mean, perhaps a bad use of word “fix”. Its not like I was endlessly doom scrolling or watching short form videos. I was mostly playing Halo, Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3, and GTA 3/Vice City. And when I was allowed to be play on the Xbox I had friends over and we split screened all the time. I miss split screen.
What’s a D in internationally understood scoring? Like 40%?
A ‘D’ is 60%-69%
What the fuck.
lol I mean, that shit is happening way more frequently these days than they were back then. I was probably an odd one out in that age group in the late nineties seeing as the internet was still “a place you visited”.
I work in an after school program (one man IT department, paper pusher, and bus driver mostly) and there have been numerous times when its been brought to my attention that some of the kids had seen stuff they were not supposed to on the internet at home which they’d then talk about here getting themselves in trouble.
I once heard an 7 year old boy say loudly “I have a great sweaty gyatt!” on the bus, in a way that clearly indicated that he knew exactly what that meant. I decided to be lenient and told him that someone else had gotten written up for using that word around the youth counselors and that was my warning to him to not say it unless he wanted to get in trouble.
Ah, you need a creeper!
Minecraft gets even more confusing when your friend tells you he’s got to go fish for some bees.
You can fish for bees in vanilla? I thought that was my Modpack being a dick and ruining my relaxation and angry bee sometimes.
They play ATM10
/kill @e[type=!player,distance=..8]/kill @e[type=cow,distance=..8]Everything but the player is evil
? no that’s just the cows
“evil” referred to the previous commentThat’s the point. The first option killed everything but the player. This kills only the cows.
the dangers of replying before i fully wake up, the previous comment didn’t register
Know that feeling 😂
no, kill the brother
/kill @e[type=player, distance=1..](or just their username I guess…)
Hey! Get those cows out of your brother’s Minehouse, okay buddy? And tell your brother you’re sorry! And don’t do it again! Leave your brother’s Minehouse alone, got it?
Yeah, Minecraft, whatever, just knock it off.
Sword with looting and fire aspect. Enjoy your leather and cooked steak.
Maybe I’m parenting wrong, but my 5 year old has no idea what Minecraft is, let alone knows how to play it. The only video games she’s ever played is some Super Mario Bros 3 on a vacation once. She doesn’t even know how to do anything on our iPad except use the sketchpad app for drawing.
Some of my fondest memories as a young child are of playing video games with my older brothers. I’d love to let my kids have a similar experience with their siblings or parents. While there is nothing wrong with your style of parenting, there is also nothing wrong with letting them play video games as long as you’re being responsible.
And your style of parenting would be a lot harder if your 5 year old has older siblings.
What, how do you expect a kid to play and have fun if you don’t get them iPads and all the games and videos imaginable?! You soulless bastard…
/s just in case. Keep it up, you’re doing a good job my brother.
Right? And I’m over here failing as a parent by buying books and letting her play outside. /s
Well that’s entirely your fault, not her’s.
Is there really fault at play here? I mean, is playing Minecraft a life skill that’s vital for a 5 year old to learn?
I think the /s was silent in the post you replied to…
Vital? No.
But as a kid fiting in can be quite important, and sometimes fitting in means playing the games the other kids are playing.
My kid fits in just fine. She has plenty of friends.
