• sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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    3 days ago

    Sure, and the parents should absolutely have picked up on that. If you take even a passing interest in your kid’s life, you’ll at least pick up on something being a bit off.

    My oldest is 11, so not all that different from the kid in the article. We still have regular chats where they tell me a fair amount of what goes on at school and w/ friends. They don’t tell me everything, and they frequently lie, but I’m present enough to pick up on trends.

    These parents were either complicit (unlikely) or negligent (very likely) if they “didn’t know” what their kid was up to. I certainly hid stuff from my parents (had a copy of the Anarchist’s Cookbook, because I thought it was interesting), but nothing anywhere close to this magnitude.

    if they’re not already (and they probably are), these parents should be criminally investigated for whatever laws France has around gross negligence.

    • rottingleaf@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      They don’t tell me everything, and they frequently lie, but I’m present enough to pick up on trends.

      To be good enough you just have to be better than the parents who first ask people from outside, like teachers, and then ask their kids for control and still believe them less. OK, that’s my flashbacks again.

      • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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        3 days ago

        The trick, IMO, is to look past the things that don’t matter and only call them out when it does. Then casually mention that you know they lie other times, so they never know exactly how much you pick up on.

        Don’t blindly trust your kid or a random other adult, take the time to hear both sides, and simply state how things ought to be. It’s best if you can find something you can agree w/ from both sides that are relevant, so both sides know they’re being heard.