With kids there is no one size fits all approach. And you won’t do everything right as a parent either. Ever. You’re on a tightrope walk of keeping the ills of the world away from them and them fantasizing about the ills of the world from the bits and pieces they pick up along the way.
They have to feel safe. With you/at home/etc. As long as you get that mostly right, the other pieces fall into place. One of those pieces will be the MO you’re looking for here.
If you’re overly worried about the idea of having kids: even the dumbest, most ignorant humans have brought up the overwhelming majority of their children successfully. It’s not as hard as one thinks before. Because you worry about something like this way ahead of time, I am fairly sure you’ll do better than them.
To equivocate, being a parent is by far the most difficult thing I’ve ever done, easily four times as hard as I expected. I have never been so ill used, overwhelmed, driven mad, exhausted, and neurotic in my life. And the only reason for all that stress is how much I want to do a good job. If I was stupid and didn’t give a shit about him, it would be pretty easy, as you say.
That said, actually worrying about doing well is a promising early sign in a prospective parent.
With kids there is no one size fits all approach. And you won’t do everything right as a parent either. Ever. You’re on a tightrope walk of keeping the ills of the world away from them and them fantasizing about the ills of the world from the bits and pieces they pick up along the way.
They have to feel safe. With you/at home/etc. As long as you get that mostly right, the other pieces fall into place. One of those pieces will be the MO you’re looking for here.
If you’re overly worried about the idea of having kids: even the dumbest, most ignorant humans have brought up the overwhelming majority of their children successfully. It’s not as hard as one thinks before. Because you worry about something like this way ahead of time, I am fairly sure you’ll do better than them.
To equivocate, being a parent is by far the most difficult thing I’ve ever done, easily four times as hard as I expected. I have never been so ill used, overwhelmed, driven mad, exhausted, and neurotic in my life. And the only reason for all that stress is how much I want to do a good job. If I was stupid and didn’t give a shit about him, it would be pretty easy, as you say.
That said, actually worrying about doing well is a promising early sign in a prospective parent.