r/ShitAmericansSay
“Shit, man, shit shit shit.”
“Steve man. Calm the fuck down. What’s wrong?”
“It’s a customer, man.”
“Please tell me they didn’t take an orange from the bottom of the stack again.”
“No, no. Worse. So much worse. He’s buying the boule.”
“Ha. You had me worried for a minute. Nobody buys the boule. You misheard.”
“No, man, I’m telling you. He asked where it was. I made him repeat the question. He said again he wanted the ‘sourdough boule.’ He’s got it in his cart now.”
“…You’re serious.”
“Yes, man. He’s about to fucking buy the boule.”
“Shit, man. What are we going to do?”
“I don’t know. I- I don’t know. This has never happened before.”
“We have to alert them.”
“Them?”
“You know, them.”
“Wh- you mean the simulation people?”
“You got a better idea?”
“Yeah, maybe drinking bleach. Not to mention we have no way to con-”
“H-hello? Um… Sim- simulation people? Um-”
“What the fuck are you doing, Ted? You fucking dipshi-”
“Yes?”
“…”
“…”
“Steve… you… you heard that, ri-”
“I don’t have all day. What is it?”
“Shit, um.”
“Yes sir, um, Mister Simulator sir, I-”
“Missus.”
“Oh, um, sorry, the voice is just kindof… tinny an-”
“Look, we’ve got a problem. It’s one of the… simulated.”
“Mmm hmm?”
“He’s on his way to the checkout now.”
“And?”
“He’s buying the boule.”
“Mmm. Right. Thank you for alerting me. This anomaly will be dealt with.”
“Oh. Um. O…kay. Um. Thank yo-”
“Wait, how exactly will it be deal-”
This reads like They’re Made Out of Meat. It’s brilliant.
I often buy these. But, I always take care noone sees me buying them.
This is the way. Don’t let OP know about us.
In all my years I’ve never walked into a friends home and been offered a baguette or a fresh slice of focaccia.
Well then your friends suck
Yeah, my second to oldest daughter was visiting the other day and I offered her fresh sourdough toast and filtered chilled water, felt kind of funny like “here’s your bread and water” but it is a delicious snack.
Sourdough is sold in stores here, a loaf from Whole Foods was the reason I started baking again, that bread was so good but mine now is often even better. So maybe there is a big overlap between people who like fancy bread and people who make it? But even so - if you are making a soup and want bread with it, nobody is buying sliced white industrial sandwich bread for that, and I will occasionally ask my husband to pick up “fancy white bread - from the bakery section not the aisles.”
“Hey, man! Glad you could make it! Can I get you anything? Some chips, some pretzels, an entire baguette, maybe some iced tea or something?”
I buy baguettes roughly twice a week. They are amazing with oil and vinegar.
This is 4chan, though… I’m not shocked an incel would think this.
…and roasted garlic, pesto, and…
I m French and in France we buy EVERY bread in a bakery .for real after 5pm you have basically nothing .
The French sure do love their
idk man, seems like an american problem to me.
Sheltered American…they can’t keep the bread on the shelves where I’m at
Are you watching their politics? This can’t be real, the writers are all over the top. The whole country is a simulation.
I get some things when I scroll through c/all, that’s way then enough for me. I have no idea how the presidential race can even be remotely close. That being said I’m afraid that this behaviour and talking points are coming more and more to us. Some politicians of a conservative party here met several times with republicans and brought some “bright” ideas over here. Guess I’ll do the Robinson Crusoe some time and just move to a small island so I don’t have to deal with all this nonsensical shit fest.
So you think you’ve found the hole of simulation and don’t even try to buy some to see if it is really a decoration? WTF bro
Many will walk up to edge, but few have the courage to see if they can fly.
Omfg is this a marketing stunt by the baked goods industry to sell more bread?
I wouldn’t be surprised. All these chains are owned by Mega-corp, so they profit no matter what store you go to.
This is what Lemmy has become. hailcorporate
I make my own these days and regularly offer them to guests but I used to buy the stores artisan breads for lunch while working construction when I was young.
The cost to create of a family size loaf of jalapeno and mozzerella stuffed herb focaccia is about $4.87, lower if you cheap out on oil, so theres tons of room for markup even if the store ends up throwing most of it out.
That cost seems incredibly high, how did you calculate that? Also what are you paying for a loaf of bread? Granted cheese is expensive so depending on how much mozarella you’re factoring in that could play a part, but im still curious about your numbers.
Herbs, flour, oil, jalapenoes, cheese, and eggs divide by volume all at retail price.
Egg is for the wash.
Good oil and herbs are the largest expense if you buy the cheese in bulk (aged cheeses like mozzerella and parmesian are more mold resistant than other cheeses if kept dry), but you could cheap out with a premade herb blend and some generic “olive” oil.
We might also just have different opinions on what “family size” means.
Ok but if you see sliced croissant loaf, fucking buy that shit, buy two, immediately. I don’t even like to shop any more at places where they don’t sell it.
Does this come in unsliced? Because cut that suckers down the middle perpendicular to the chopping board and you could make a giant toasted ham & cheese croissant slab
