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You know what will cover up that dookie damage? latex house paint. Solves all your problems.
I see no issues whatsoever with this plan of action
Edit: any flaws in the plan can, of course, be addressed with latex house paint
Glaring flaws in your plan? Latex house paint. Covers 'em right up.
This whole thread speaks of the Landlord Special. Latex paint, what can’t it do!?
Unclog drains.
Financial issues? Latex house paint. Drink it down and your problems disappear.